Future Fear, Future Plans

Photography by Nick Clark.

‘Nervous’ is undoubtedly how I, and many others, felt today. I didn't sleep well. My heart beat furiously. The only thing that calmed me down was the copious amount of drinks I had beforehand. Today was when my entire year got feedback on their dissertation; a year’s worth of research amounting to 25% of the final grade something that obviously holds some significant sway on the quality of my degree.

Of course I could still build upon the foundations set by a bad mark, but it would hinder my progress greatly. A better dissertation would mean a better degree, a better degree would help me to prove myself more qualified for a job and escape the country.

Seeing as ‘escaping the country’ is the name of my blog I probably owe some explanation. 


Otley, the small country town I come from, is an odd place where in all of my years living there the only thing that significantly changed was that we got a Sainsbury’s and a new zebra crossing.  Picturesque, it's sited on the North/West Yorkshire border in the Wharfedale valley, its biggest claim to fame being a furniture carpenter, providing inspiration for William turners "Snow-storm: Hannibal and his Army Crossing the Alps" and being the occasional film location of British soaps Heartbeat and Emmerdale. Although not completely isolated, being in close proximity to other small towns and a 45 minute bus journey from Leeds, the town is mainly made of pubs, charity shops and an older generation. As my mum put it, full of people “looking for peace of mind after a stressful journey”. 

Otley

Photography by Melanie Goacher

However I am yet to start that journey and what scares me is that this little town has the ability to entrap people; I know many people from years above me when I was in school who have been stuck in the same job for years on end. I hold a belief that you should develop an appreciation for your current position in life and should live in the present, but the prospect of being stuck in Otley in the future terrifies me.

So I’ve made a plan. Not a plan to permanently move out (yet), but one where I will explore the world beyond the valley before focusing on my career and my road out of Otley.

 First in mind is a Tour of the South: I’ve visited London twice before however both occasions I didn't see much; once when I was too young to have a sufficient memory, and the other was when I had work experience in Parliament. So a tour of the capital's nightlife and wider culture is definitely needed, as well as exploring the other realms of southern England like Bournemouth and Bristol.

The second plan, after months of intense work, is a Tour of the World: I haven’t travelled beyond the UK many times before and I consider it a waste not to experience the numerous exotic cultures and ecosystems that exist beyond the British Isles. South America is one continent that holds a great allure for me, especially the Amazon rainforest. I have to admit I am a bit of a nature geek the prospect of visiting such a diverse habitat is thrilling. Hopefully I’ll be able to kidnap a Capybara and sneak it through customs...although being labelled as the biggest rodent on Earth it is undeniably cute:

Photography by Graighagh Jackson 

Afterwards I’m thinking probably Australia despite its awful adverts; I visited Australia before when I was 14 but I was definitely too young to appreciate the beautiful scenery and its inhabitants. And definitely too young to experience the amazing nightlife on offer! So Melbourne or Sydney are absolute musts. Afterwards who knows? Maybe the jungles of Papua New Guinea (too much jungle?), Hong Kong’s symphony of lights, or an adventure across the Serengeti? (Suggestions welcome!)


But alas, my dissertation grade was not amazing. Nothing horrific, and certainly something that could be built upon, but one that fell far from my hopes. But out of all things bad sprouts the seeds of good. A fear has been planted within me that will no doubt push me to work harder, to get a good job and to escape the valley. It reminds me very much of a quote by the Dalai Lama, although probably not what he had in mind when he said it:

“Unfortunate events, though potentially a source of anger and despair, have equal potential to be a source of spiritual growth."