Phrases to Forget: “Why Me?”

This phrase is born from disadvantageous situations where the individual feels personally victimised, probing themselves in search of emotional validation. Such examples could be “Why did this have to happen to me?”, “What have I done to deserve this?” or even “Someone up there hates me!”. Such an introspective thought often leads to a spiralling of negative feelings, resulting in an emotional malaise that breeds a temperament made of dis-empowerment, despair, contempt and self-righteousness. This is upheld by a stream of conscious justifications for this state; I didn't deserve this; the world is cruel; I deserve pity. This continues, seemingly feeding off each other as the individual wallows in their despair; the phrase ‘Why Me’ imbuing them with thoughts of victimisation and seeking emotional validation from their mental probing.

It may seem evident that such thoughts are toxic, unproductive cycles of emotion, but the phrase still persists. Of course people’s emotions are sure to sway with the events that occur throughout life, however it is the ability for one to productively deal with such situations that this particular phrase undermines. When you feel yourself stepping down the murky path paved by ‘Why Me?’ turning your back on this seemingly emotional justifiable route may seem difficult, but by rationalising yourself you rally yourself against it.

Perspective is one of your great allies in this sense. Similar and worse have happened to others. Indeed whilst to you your circumstance may seem terrible, it has little benefit to you or to the rest of humankind by victimising yourself. Furthermore, from a nihilistic perspective you have no impact upon the workings of the universe anyway so when asking yourself “Why Me?” consider the fact that you have little consideration within universe anyway, that there is no grand consciousness specifically making your life as terrible as possible and that your current state of affairs is the simple result of causality; something happened which made something happen which affected you. Let’s push this idea of perspective further; Quantum physics defines the workings of the cosmos on a minute scale that by extension creates the structure of our entire universe and determines how it works. On a quantum level your molecular structure stays fairly similar throughout your life; even in the moments before and after death there is no difference. As such your impact on the very nature of the universe in negligible, so why should you hold any special consideration? Similarly your ability to shape the universe on any larger scale is also negligible; our universe is postulated to be 93,000,000,000 light years across, of which the impact of Earth, and even our Milky Way Galaxy where there are anywhere between 200 billion to 400 billion other stars than our Sun, on the rest of the universe is also minor. So whilst an event may have caused you emotional upset compared to the workings of the cosmos its relevance is hardly noticeable. However within you there is the potential to impact at the human scale; the one scale we can directly influence. You must remember that all the greatest influencers in history, from Plato and Alexander the Great to Nietzsche and Ghandi all started as a baby, and as such you too can have an influence on the course of humanity. So instead of victimising yourself and revelling in the emotional pits of despair you can achieve great levels of productivity socially, politically, economically; whatever you desire.

So instead of asking “Why Me?” the next time something bad occurs, remember that it is simply the result of causality; a chain of events, many of the links probably which bare little relevance to you anyway, led to your state. Remember that although it holds a negative impact upon you it holds little relevance on a number of scales, indeed on a temporal scale what happened, happened so there’s little point in wishing it were different. So pick yourself up, brush yourself down and don’t ask yourself “Why Me?” but ask “What now?”. How has your circumstance changed how much you must adapt from now on? How can you be productive and surpass your potential?

“Why Me?” is a toxic thought that twists your emotional temperament into one that’s negative and wholly introspective. Instead be practical. Be productive. What happened, happened; what now?

“Great grief does not of itself put an end to itself.” - Seneca